I'm not sure really, he was a rescue Dog . I only realised his special talent when a very weak neighbour came visiting with some beer to watch a boxing match on TV. I went to the toilet after the third round and whilst I was fully committed to a rather satisfying number two, I heard a bit of a stramash.

Upon finishing my extremely important business, I returned to find the Dog and neighbour locked together in an unusual embrace to say the least. The Dog's tongue was hanging out of the side of his mouth and his eye's were rolled back in his head as were the neighbours. Being of a polite disposition, I asked no questions and made no judgements but instead slowly reached for my jacket and made a quick exit leaving them to it assuming it was consensual to both parties.

It was some time before my neighbour mentioned the incident and of course I had never brought it up to save him any embarrassment.. He raised the issue some months later at a barbeque, his tongue having been loosened somewhat by copious amounts of wine and other alcoholic refreshments.

He rather shamefully admitted to relieving himself in my lobby not knowing where the other toilets were located in the house at the time. I asked him what exactly happened. He said that he had just about done up his flies when he was taken to the floor by what he thought was a rugby tackle by a New Zealand All Black and before he could utter any complaint, found himself face down on the floor, his arms pinned by his sides with a hole in his jeans and the Dog going at him like a jack hammer.

He said that the Dog whispered in his ear that this is what his previous owner trained him to do when a dirty bastard like him pisses on his turf.

I was shocked and apologised for my Dog�s actions. I said that I couldn�t imagine how that must have been for him and what must have been going through his mind during such a traumatic event. He said �All I could think was FUCK ME A TALKING DOG!� :-)