The Tender For Law

Volume 8

Feb 04, 2015 5:46 PM

Tara Duncan

Michael: You should never lie to yourself. You'll eventually find out and you'll be very unhappy.

Lying to people important to you, to spare their feelings, is also not a good idea. This does not mean you should phrase the truth in such a way as to intentionally upset or hurt them (although this is sometimes unavoidable given the nature of human beings). Not lying does not have to mean abandoning diplomacy. If you tell your wife you love that meal you just gagged down, she'll make it again, and again, and again. If those jeans really do make someone's ass look fat, better you save them the potential embarrassment of exposing this fact to the general public.

Lying to acquaintances or strangers...why bother? Lie maintenance is complicated and exhausting, and if you're caught lying your credibility is shot - maybe forever.

This does not mean you should always feel obligated to tell everyone everything. Our idiot upbringings often had the "speak when you're spoken to" crap that is hard to shake to this day. In most cases you can choose what information to disseminate or say nothing - what obligates you to offer full disclosure to the masses, or, for that matter, to lie?

If you live to your own expectations, and do only things which fall in line with your moral imperative, you can tell the truth with impunity. You'll like yourself more, anyone who matters will eventually admire and count on your candor, and you can free up your brain for more important things like learning and enjoying your stress-free, guilt-free life.