Ceit Butler
I've pondered all of the possibilities. Perhaps this is a simply a case of mechanical failure. As a result of the buildup of weed and crumbs in the keyboard, the colon key sticks!
Maybe August suffers from a degenerative condition like Dupuytren's Contracture (also known as "Vikings Disease"! Seriously... Go look it up) which causes his little fingers to spasm and land on that Shift-colon key combo.