Mar 28, 2013 2:35 PM

HERE IT IS! THE OFFICIAL "THE TENDER FOR LAW" LEGAL DISCLAIMER.

OBLIGATIONS OF RESPONSIBLE READING PARTY (that's YOU):

By reading or allowing others to read this disclaimer, Responsible Reading Party (That's YOU again) agrees to be bound by the Agreement which, governs the reading of this disclaimer.

An equal opportunity disclaimer.

Read at your own risk.

Must be 18 to read.

This Disclaimer does not necessarily reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my friends, my mother and father, my cats, my lawyer, or anyone I know directly and/or indirectly.

Disclaimer is ribbed for your pleasure.

Instructions are included.

No preservatives added.

Void where prohibited.

Some assembly required.

If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, call your physician.

Batteries not included.

Contents may settle during shipment.

Use only as directed.

Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.

Postage will be paid by addressee.

Subject to HEALTH CANADA approval.

Apply only to affected area.

Do not stamp.

Keep away from sunlight.

For recreational use only.

Do not disturb.

Freshest if eaten before date on carton.

Keep large pets away from small children.

For external use only.

If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading.

You can quote me on that.

Subject to change without notice.

Action figures sold separately.

GI Joe with the Kung-Fu grip.

I'll start you out with a subject

Talk amongst yourselves.

Don't quote me on that.

No postage necessary if mailed in Canada.

Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.

Not applicable to Acts of GOD.

Wait a minute, I AM GOD.

Don't quote me on anything.

Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.

No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added.

OS/2 is dead, Windows just plain sucks.

Unix is the way my child.

Call before you dig.

As seen on TV.

YOU MUST CUT DOWN THE MIGHTIEST...

One size fits all.

New size,.0016 oz. Free!

Limit one-per-family please.

No money down.

TREE IN THE FOREST WITH...

Colors may fade.

We have sent the forms which seem right for you.

Slippery when wet.

For office use only.

A HERRING!!!

Not affiliated with the CIA, FBI or Hoover's girly clothes.

Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.

Drop in any mailbox.

Edited for television.

Whatever the question...I was out of town that day.

Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.

Post office will not deliver without postage.

Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.

List was current at time of printing.

Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.

Danger, hazardous radiation.

At participating locations only.

Penalty for private use.

Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

Do not write below this line.

Watch for falling rock.

I wish that rock would fall on Bob Rae!

Place stamp here.

Avoid contact with skin.

Sanitized for your protection.

Possible penalties for early withdrawal.

Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.

Beware of gecko.

No purchase necessary.

Use only in a well-ventilated area.

No shirt, No shoes, No service.

I'm not wearing any underwear.

Some equipment shown is optional.

My disclaimer is bigger than yours.

Reader assumes full responsibility.

Don't take any wooden nickels.

Read only with proper ventilation.

No solicitors.

Safety goggles may be required during use.

Don't eat yellow snow!

Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.

For a limited time only.

Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T

Help society. Kill a Lawyer.

Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.

Windows is a registered trademark of Microsoft.

Package sold by weight, not volume.

All rights reserved.

Terms are subject to change without notice.

Slow Children at play.

Hand wash only.

Smoking this Disclaimer could be hazardous to your health.

Tumble dry on low heat.

Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

...there. I think that covers it. :D